Church, Cruise Ship, or Country Club?
A quiz to spark discussion, inspired by what I saw while 'church shopping'
We’re doing something a little different this week… I hope it’s fun and thought-provoking.
This is a game called “Church, Cruise Ship, or Country Club?” It’s simple: read through each item below and decide which of these it describes. Some could cover all three categories, others just one or two.
Quick disclaimer — my time has been spent in the (white) American evangelical church, so these questions aren’t intended for and may not apply to other church traditions.
While I’ve never been on a cruise or part of a country club, I assume we all have an idea of how these organizations run. (I’d recommend envisioning a Disney cruise as you answer these, since it’s such a familiar brand.)
So take a few minutes, read through each item, and ask: “Church, cruise ship, or country club?” Afterwards, I’ll share a little about what inspired this, and then I’d love to hear your thoughts!
Church, cruise ship, or country club?
It has a distinct logo. When you see it on bumper stickers around town, you know you and the other driver have something in common.
Branded merchandise! There are t-shirts, hoodies, coffee mugs, and more available for sale. Sure, they’re a little pricey, but people like to buy them as an expression of loyalty or identity. It’s a way to communicate, “this is a place worth investing in; it’s where I belong.”
New or first-time guests are given special attention, including free gifts (with the brand logo) and a greeting or tour from staff — the goal is to convert them to return attendees and loyal participants.
Families choose theirs because it has great kids’ programs.
Whenever you attend an event here, you know the staff will clean up afterwards. Programs are run smoothly and on time — when you show up, you can relax and enjoy something produced by professionals.
The wealthiest and most well-connected families receive special attention from the staff. (There might be a VIP section and/or perks for those with the most money.)
Money coming in is mostly used to improve the guest experience — this means investments in bigger or newer facilities, better tech, more entertaining events, or more convenient services. (The goal of it all, of course, is continued growth for the organization.)
Money coming in doesn’t usually stay in the organization. As they collect funds, leaders tend to give them away to neighbors in need or local aid groups. As a result, the facilities and decor may be a little old and outdated — but everyone’s content with this.
Leadership works to make sure the amenities and programs are up-to-date and attractive to potential members/clients; they don’t want to fall behind and lose people to competitors in the same market.
If a person walked in with threadbare clothing, clearly impoverished and on the margins of society, they would be welcomed, included, and invited to participate.
Whenever you show up, you expect to be working or serving others in some way, whether babysitting, preparing food, cleaning, facilitating the programs, or setting up chairs and tables. You don’t expect all these things to simply be provided for you; you know they won’t happen unless everyone pitches in.
At the holidays, there are often special themed events or entertainment for participants to enjoy: Christmas programs, Easter egg hunts, Thanksgiving dinners, Labor Day picnics. Sometimes these are planned as recruiting events; members are encouraged to invite friends.
The organization’s website and social media pages showcase what an excellent experience it provides. There are photos and videos of attractive people enjoying and/or performing music, socializing, and generally having a great time — since people tend to start their search online, it’s important to give them reasons to walk through the doors.
Why ask these questions?
Of course, there are no “right” answers for any of the statements above, but I hope they provided some interesting comparisons as you read!
Here’s why I created this. As you may know, our family recently moved to a new state. As we began looking for a church, I started searching online … and very quickly became discouraged.
Page after page of flashy worship services. Great programs for kids! Click the “Plan Your Visit” button! Make sure you find the “VIP desk” to welcome first-time guests! Find a Life Group and be part of a community! Rows upon rows of staff photos, so you know professionals are taking care of everything: production and lighting, communications and social media. One church even had a “director of weekend experience.”
And no, if you’re wondering — these weren’t all megachurches. Of course, the bigger they got, the slicker the branding and the more they leaned into the “worship concert + TED talk” marketing. (This parody video sums it up perfectly.)
What bothered me wasn’t the specific styles or even an excess of fog machines. It was the fundamental assumption behind it all: People come to church to have an experience. The congregation are customers, and it’s the job of the pastors, staff, and volunteers to produce the best experience they can.
The majority of the websites communicated an implicit promise: this church will serve you and meet your needs. In other words, they were marketing themselves using the same principles as any company trying to sell a product: convince customers you have the greatest benefits at the lowest reasonable price.
If the websites are any indication, church shoppers are lured by the promise of quality programs, custom-made for every age or life stage. And at a low price: all these will be provided for you by professionals, if you just show up.1
This promise of an essentially frictionless experience made me start thinking of cruise ships. People choose these because they want to be served. They want to enjoy fun shows and eat catered meals and have someone else clean up afterwards. These are all good things, by the way! But do they belong within the body of Christ?
My online church shopping also made me think about country clubs.2 I looked at the websites for a few in our area, and one line stood out to me: “An opportunity to meet and socialize with like-minded people who appreciate the club environment.”
Wouldn’t this describe many churches? Do we join expecting to associate with people who are like us and won’t ask too much of us?
Marketing is grounded in theology
A discussion about church marketing and styles might seem academic or irrelevant — shouldn’t we focus on doctrine? — but I believe the choices we (and our churches) make about where to invest money and time reveal far more about our values than what might be written in a statement of faith.
Does the church exist to serve those who give it their time and money?3 Does it focus on bringing in “paying customers”? Or does it waste talent and treasure on the undeserving, giving to those who have nothing to offer in return?
Should the church be similar to any other consumer experience? Do we “pay” with our attention, time, money for something that meets our needs?
Or — is the church a place where we go to share what we’ve already received? Where those filled with the grace of God share this abundance with one another, with neighbors and enemies?
If we come only to take, we’ll pay attention to those with lots to give, and discard those who lack. We’ll love those who love us, serve those who serve us, do good to those who can help our reputation or contribute to our profits. Our shepherds will feed on their most profitable sheep4 and leave the weak ones behind.
Our consumer culture shares the same values as the shepherds of Ezekiel 345, who plundered the Lord’s flock for their own gain. Too many churches are participating in this destructive system without realizing it.
Ok, I’m excited to hear — what kind of responses did you get in “Church, Cruise Ship, or Country Club”? I’d truly love to get your reactions and observations in the comments.
Of course, if you stick around long enough you’ll be asked to give money and/or volunteer!
I have a theory that many Southern/Bible Belt churches gradually turn into country clubs, based on things I observed in the church that abused us. Someday I might do a post on it.
I’m tempted to tie in the recent debates on ordo amoris sparked by JD Vance’s comments, but … I won’t do that here.
Ezekiel 34:1-3 — “The word of the Lord came to me: 2 “Son of man, prophesy against the shepherds of Israel; prophesy and say to them: ‘This is what the Sovereign Lord says: Woe to you shepherds of Israel who only take care of yourselves! Should not shepherds take care of the flock? 3 You eat the curds, clothe yourselves with the wool and slaughter the choice animals, but you do not take care of the flock.”
Read the whole chapter if you have time! It’s incredibly encouraging for anyone who has been harmed by church leaders.
RE Footnote 1: This reflects the “bait & switch”approach. When you first show up they ask nothing of you, give you free stuff, you’re our guest, everyone loves you, and the Sr. Pastor wants to be your best friend. Only later do they ask for your money, all of your time (uncompensated - “it’s for God after all”), and tell you that “Jesus wants your all and everything” (which is true enough but they actually want you to take what you would give to Jesus and instead give it to the “church,” i.e. organization).
In the mid’90s, I started to find Biblical, cynical, knowledgeable prophets who described what the Church Growth Movement (CGM) was doing and how you could know where things were heading. I stayed up-to-date and waited/watched. These were some of the dynamics:
The church needs to become attractive to “hook” “seekers.”
Seekers are 30-40 somethings who dress “business casual”, drive to work with throbbing music.
Seekers want churches that don’t have Q-tips (old, white-haired, people, usually seen in choir robes.
They do not want to hear 300 year-old hymns.
They don’t want a choir.
They don’t want an organ.
They don’t want a Pastor wearing a robe…or a tie…business casual.
Ditch these things.
The church we joined the first week after 911, gradually followed the formula described above. Q-tip choir members came to depart in tears as new seekers found what they were looking for. Paid & volunteer staff were flown to Illinois, got rental cars, enrolled at Willow Creek Church & paid for hotels.
They will accept Starbucks coffee
They will be comfortable with an ATM machine
Like Willow Creek Church (which had up to 4 MBAs on staff) these churches will begin to hire MBAs.
Churches grew
In 2007, the failures were confessed https://www.christianitytoday.com/2007/10/willow-creek-repents/
In 2018, collapse : https://www.christianitytoday.com/2018/04/bill-hybels-resigns-willow-creek-misconduct-allegations/
Anyone remember churches claiming to be “Willow Associate” designated churches?
We walked away in 2008, found a church in Virginia that received training in Virginia. The anti-CGM prophets mapped things out with sequential indicators…that each came true.
If a Christian reads Acts, that should probably be our map.
I think I understand your point & my one cruise was Carnival in 1988.
Blessings. The best example of evangelism may be when Philip the Evangelist met the Ethiopian Eunuch, explained Isaiah’s description of Jesus and the Gospel, then baptized him. The Ethiopian was a seeker. God had someone arrive to explain things.