We should "waste" our spiritual gifts
How remembering Mary can reframe our perspective on ministry
Why would anyone remember what Mary did?
It doesn’t seem like we have. In my many years of church-going, I’ve heard only one sermon about the evening Mary anointed her savior. Which is odd, given that Jesus spoke of her act as though it would live on forever. Her story would be told, he said, “wherever this gospel is proclaimed in the whole world.”
This kind of exalted language would normally have described a military hero or emperor of that era, yet Jesus used it to honor a woman who poured perfume on his body.
What the men in the room dismissed as a waste, Jesus saw as worth remembering for all time.
Why? Because this was not just a private act of devotion. It was theologically significant, showing that Mary, in contrast to the male disciples, understood something about who Jesus was and what he’d come to accomplish.
Mary’s offering shows us the gospel — “this gospel,” as Jesus says — and I believe it should challenge how we practice ministry and think about spiritual gifts.
“Why this waste?”
Every time this scene is recorded in the gospels, the male disciples are shown criticizing Mary.1 They are “indignant,” they talk about her among themselves, they say what she’s done is a “waste.”
Her alabaster jar of nard, an imported perfume, was worth 300 denarii, or about a year’s wages for a laborer. The men’s shock makes more sense when we use today’s figures — $30,000 or more.2
So when she breaks open the jar and pours it on Jesus’ head and feet, we can imagine them asking: who would spill out a year’s salary to create nothing more than a temporary fragrance?
When Jesus steps in to defend Mary, he’s giving an answer: someone who truly knows me.
“Leave her alone,” he tells the men.
The way the scene is framed in the gospels – especially in Matthew 26 – draws a deliberate contrast between Mary and the male disciples, and how they’re responding to an unspoken question: what is Jesus worth?
Mary pours out the equivalent of a savings account, while Judas betrays his Lord for the price of a slave.
And this brings us to the concept of “waste.” The Greek word here connotes destruction, ruin. It also, with the disciples’ focus on economic value, emphasizes the lack of return on investment: Mary spent a fortune yet got nothing for it.
The disciples, especially Judas, were thinking of the benefit that kind of money could’ve brought to them and to others3. Mary, on the other hand, wasn’t calculating the potential profit. She was offering her best to Jesus without expecting anything in return.
She was giving him a gift.
A gift? Or a waste? It could be seen either way, depending on your perspective and your goals. If you only give to others when it serves you, a lavish gift that apparently brings nothing in return can only be a “waste.” Especially a gift of that magnitude.
While the disciples thought about how much profit her perfume could earn, Mary was thinking of how much it would take to express her love for Jesus. She “wasted” her fortune to show Jesus just how much she valued him, how grateful she was for his friendship and all he’d done for her. She sought nothing in return.
And in this way, Mary demonstrated that she understood the nature of Christ’s relationship with those he came to save. Her gift reflected the gospel.
After all, what greater “waste” is there than the king of heaven suffering and dying to be reconciled with the very people who rejected him? Jesus’ life was poured out for the sake of something that, in a real sense, did not benefit him at all. We as created beings could not improve his status, add to his riches or power, or bring him any greater happiness than he already enjoyed with the Father and Spirit.
If we ask “what did Jesus gain?” we might see his sacrifice as a waste. But if we ask “how much did Jesus love?” we understand his suffering as the ultimate gift.
Two fragrant offerings
This is why Jesus commended Mary: she understood what Jesus had done for her, and her sacrifice reflected what he had given her. Her gift poured out created a beautiful fragrance, just as Jesus’ life did before the Father.
So this is one of the ways Mary’s gift should be remembered — in the creation of church communities where those who know Jesus give their best to him and to one another. Where we “waste” our time, talent, and treasure on the body of Christ without trying to earn something in return.
In a world that runs on transactional relationships, the gospel should create gift-based communities: places where we offer things of value to the Lord and to one another in love, not because we believe it will somehow serve us, elevate our status, or earn the attention of the right crowd.
And this will require many of us to change our approach to church and our relationships in it. All too often, our communities are transactional.4 We pay attention to those who can give us something in return, whether that’s praise, entertainment, or access to power. We “love those who love us,” who give us the rewards of applause or of “being seen.” We give our time to those with much to offer in return, while those with the least resources — who are poor in terms of money, talent, or power — are pushed to the margins.
Creating churches that remember Mary and her gospel-reflecting act will also require us to change the way we think of “spiritual gifts.”
In a transactional community, “gifts” are talents to be leveraged in some way. “Gifted” speakers earn a salary as pastors; gifted leaders earn positions of power. But Mary’s story shows us that a gift is not a talent; it’s what you give away for free.
Therefore, in a gift-based community, members offer their best to one another without expecting something in return. Rich and poor, strong and weak, all bring their offerings, pouring them out to serve the body of Christ. And in so doing they will create something beautiful — something that remembers Mary, whose gift illustrates and leads us in worship towards the fragrant offering of Jesus himself.
In case you missed them, my other posts on Mary so far: “By women, for the church” and “Remembering Her.”
Mary’s act is recorded in Matthew 26:6-16, Mark 14:3-11, and John 12:1-8.
My $30,000 estimate is based on averages for farm workers and more labor-intensive jobs. The average overall worker salary in the U.S. is more like $50,000+.
While John points out that Judas was a thief and wanted the money for himself, even the disciples’ comments about giving to the poor may reflect some mixed motives, which I’m planning to explore in a future post.
“The Other Half of Church” by Jim Wilder & Michel Hendricks addresses this. It’s a great book that uses brain science to show what church community ought to and can become.
“In a world that runs on transactional relationships, the gospel should create gift-based communities.” I love this point. That’s it in a nutshell, loving and expecting nothing in return. The idea of waste vs. gifts also leads me to waste vs. sacred, as in how so many churches now have sanctuaries that are multi-purpose spaces. They do this to save money, so the space can be used for other things, rather than reserve the sanctuary as sacred and holy, set apart for worship and communion. I sound old fashioned saying that, but they didn’t have open gym in the Holy of Holies.
Wow, wow, wow. This post ministered to me so much. I had just been praying about doing an extravagant thing that felt wasted, and was processing some of that out with Holy Spirit, and then stumbled onto this post. Thank you. 👏🏻🙌🏻🤍 So well done.